My heart Feeling

I feel really tired after 1 year++. Thousands of trials, challenges. I cant hit myself, control to prevent on it. Just too many personal affairs, incidents happened, i scared perhaps 1 day i might not catch a single breath to hold it on. I tried myself to act happy, rejoice, but its really hard. Sometimes i feel that no one aside to support me myself. I hate myself. Lonely inside. Perhaps, SOme days..i will find a way to end myself just like that.