Tuesday, January 3, 2017

4th January 2017

New Year Happening.

I prayed that this will be a better start for me. at least for myself.

I set up a few goals to achieve.

1. Think and do more for others. Less of myself. More of Others.
2. Plan and Do everything systematically.
3. Able to earn 5k a month.
4. Lose 10kg in 2017.
5. Found the right person.
6. Bring parents for a vacation.
7. Do devotion everyday.
8. Re-paint the house.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

24-4-2011 The feeling on a beloved girl

Hmm...i wonder how i shall describe this kinds of love or may be friendship. A girl who i loved for 8years. A girl who i supporting the most.A girl who i really really care no matter what. A girl who i really willing to help in every matter.A girl who i wish to spend with...which it means forever.even though she got a bf now.i still love her,and i wish her the happiness moment eva.=) just a very strong feeling to keep me on....because i love u.^_^

Friday, December 11, 2009

Confession

10/12/09
试问人的一生中,到底会喜欢几个人?
人生到底有多久?有几个十年?很有名的一个问题,人生到底有几个十年?
问我,我也不知道~哈哈哈
一生中,你会真的遇到很多很多男生/女生,但是你又怎么知道她/他是否又真的是你那命中注定的公主或王子?很多时候,很多对象告白,很多选择,有时亦不晓得接受谁好。很多时候,对象中又真的没有喜欢的人。有时候,喜欢的人又不喜欢自己。迟迟等着下一个的出现,一个又一个,原以为下一个会更好。等啊!等啊!最好的那一个,已经离开了。好男人/好女人 真的不多了。真正懂得爱你的,喜欢你的,明白你百分百的,世上又有几个人?
人生到底有几个十年?你确定,你真的幸福吗?
两种爱,被爱,爱人。。。。你想选哪个?
被爱是幸福的,乖乖的享受被爱的幸福。爱人呢?你需要付出,做出牺牲。很多人问,哪一种爱更来得幸福?根据统计,比较多女性选择被爱,除了怕受伤,而且年纪真的不等人。老了就真的老了。上了年纪,才来找自己的幸福?好男人真的不多,就算你真的找到了,人家不一定要你啊!
男生比较多选择爱人,因为男生总是很容易堕入爱河。而且百分之八十五的男生喜欢女生的条件真的很单纯很简单。不是身材好,漂亮,会打扮,带出去不会丢脸就可以了。听,只有百分之十五的男生,会真的跟感觉走。可是,男生最基本还是逃离不了本性。女朋友还是要身材好,漂亮最重要。不漂亮,身材要好~哈哈哈。选来选去,问你们,真的幸福的吗?两个人如果在一起,就是相信一辈子的承诺。如果一直只是尝试,玩玩。。。。那么时候开始认真?如果一开始只是玩玩,那么一辈子都不会认真。
喜欢其实很简单。一开始,就是会想念,闭上眼睛就会想起他/她,想跟对方牵手,想不时转信息给对方,会真正关心对方,跟对方说话,喜欢听对方的声音。。。。
还记得前几天,星期三半夜,我定下心才决定跟她告白。我打了好长好长的信息。其实前一天,我就尝试了好几次,想跟她面对面说我喜欢她。只是,她好像一直很忙。最后,我才决定用信息告白。这是我第二次告白了。她还是拒绝我了。她说她一直把我们当朋友。不会超过。。。当时心情真的很酸。后来,我真的想通了。因为,毕竟告白而已。只是要告诉她,我对她的感觉。想知道她的感觉。如此而已。
曾经,我真的很怀疑可能我太容易了解别人心里所想的,有时真的很容易猜透别人的心事。还有一点,但两个人走在一起时,相互了解是一辈子的事,不是几个星期,几个月,或是几年的事。或许,因为这样,所以她不想选择我,只想把我当朋友?谁知道?
认识她是2004年,我们学校华文学会有一个去美里两天一夜的活动。偶然的巧遇下,我们认识。可是我们并不是很熟。根本就很少讲话,更别说很认识了。真的没有。不过,第一次认识她,只知道,她真的很可爱,很娇小,很害羞。那时真的不知道怎么去接近害羞的女生。所以一直到中学毕业,我们才稍微有点联系。
2008 年,大家都念学院或大学了。真的比较多讲话了。可能真的比较说得上话。第一次,聊比较多的话题,是国民服务的事。之后,她跟她最好的朋友发生大事。吵架咯!然后,我就主动关心她。一直到那次,还是对她保持朋友的边缘。后来,比较多的关心她。因为她给我的感觉就是很弱。她需要一个依靠。所以我比较多跟她说话。
后来,她真的比较好了。Hmm•••之后,也没什么联络。就偶尔网上碰面,聊聊。或有时信息聊聊。
有时,她也会跟我说她的心事。可能真的变好朋友了吧……
不知道曾几何时,我会正的想念她。想她,想见她,希望听她的声音。
我真的不知道自己喜欢上她。一直到前不久她快考试了。我找她聊了聊。真的是什么都聊。到后来,我不知道为什么,我说对她有兴趣,喜欢她。这是告白吗?我也不知道。开始,我有点玩玩的感觉。因为,我知道她真的是一个很好很好的女生。如果真的在一起,应该很不错吧!
她拒绝了我,她说我们只是好朋友。心痛。真的不了。真的很痛。伤了好几天,不过还是会想她。
后来,她考完试了。我放一星期假期。一起回到我们中学的小镇。在我回古晋的前一天,我约了她出来。她真的答应跟我出来。只是我跟她。我真的很意外。为什么?她喜欢我吗?为什么她就不怕我对她做什么~
那天,她好早就到戏院等我了。歹势~我迟到。错过了两点的戏。只能看3.45pm的咯。我请她看rain主演的ninja assassin。因为时间还早,我带她到mall去喝茶。不知道为什么看到她就紧张。真的好久没有看到她了。她好美,好漂亮,长长又亮丽的头发,好白好美的她。她好瘦哦!真的女大十八变。好美!
闲!聊很多好无聊的话题。嗨死!最后,我们赶在戏开始前赶到。好紧张哦!我的手冷死了。我去碰她的手。很热下>.<。她的手,让人很舒服的感觉。很小很软的感觉^^。5.30pm,看完电影,我们到pasar malam走走。没有要吃的东西。真的有点晚了,我就载她回家了。那天,发生了好糗的事。不过,这就是我跟他的秘密…
我真的想通了。一个人,两个人,半个人?那又怎样呢?没有交往又怎样?那只是一个形式。对我来说,可以陪在她身边,陪她说话,关心她,分享她的喜怒哀乐,就真的够了。
我告诉自己一个人,也可以很快乐的。况且,如果她真的是我命中注定的,那么我担心什么?不是的话,我也一定祝福她。
表白失败,那又怎样呢?至少,我真的坦白了。我很认真的告诉她,我对她的感觉。这不是开玩笑。是认真的。真的不是因为她的漂亮而喜欢她。而是真的喜欢。
是的,我选择了爱人。我真的很想告诉她,我们不是小孩子了。快20岁了。应该坦白面对自己的感情了。喜欢就是喜欢,不喜欢就是不喜欢。其实,我很想告诉她,我感受到她在喜欢一个人,不管他是不是我,我都真心希望她幸福。
快乐不能假装。人生。。。。不管做了什么决定,都应该要懂得做自己喜欢,开心的事。
真的后悔。。。。因为我没有勇气,用声音的方式告诉她。。。我喜欢你。。。。
真的很想告诉你,我想做你心里那一个
~不需要很帅,很高,很聪明,fashion
~懂得珍惜你
~真心疼你,爱你
~关心你,在乎你
~孝顺自己的父母也孝顺你的父母
~对家有责任感
这样的人。
虽然我知道跟你比,我真的什么都很差劲。但至少,我可以给你我的承诺。让我学习如何去爱你好吗?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Its 4th December 2009,I will never forget.

Hmm..Its a very enjoyable day.We invited to watch movie together.Just both of us.Me and her lurh..I was first of all felt so happy,and i wonder what to do.She reached kinda early than me.and feel so paiseh that i made her waited me for 10min++..PaiseH>,<


After that,finally we reached..and we go and view the cinema movie schedule.OMG~~next movie start at 3.45pm.....Errr....bo bian..bought the ticket...then i jio her together go parkcity yam cha 1st.i drink mocha and she drink chocolate.haix..dunno wad to say.sigh.speaking nonsense.funny.~~>,<.And...the whole afternn,she keep smsing.I wonder who she smsing.T.T


ci-chat---ci-chat and it finally come to 3.25pm.i drove us back to citypoint lurh.She said chia me play driving game..k lurh.its funny.4rounds racing.we both drove 2rounds Only...wahahahahha...then both lose...she drove faster than me...win jor.haix..paiseh si~~


kekekeke...then cinema door open jor..we walked in and sit to ours seats accordingly.


I stared at her..Gazing...she is so beautiful,cute,slim,delightful.She is a perfect girl,as to me..no one to compare.She is just nice....i wonder wad do other ppl think of her.but to me..she is special.


Her impression has totally changed...She is a very nice looking girl.i can see plenty of guys stare at her...hehehe..pretty girl wa^^


hahaha..gd wa...XD
She is CooL.i feel COLD,as the killing scene so terrifying.i hold her hands,and i feel tat....hahahaha.my hand is more cold than her.~~>,<....o
Later,the movie has finally come to an END.together,we walked to pasar malam.We bought Nothing>,<.Its 6pm.i fetch her home.
I would miss the moment when just me and her.Hmm...she is just so special. and there are so many things i wanna say that i wanna tell her heart to heart.everytime,i was craving for her sms reply.its has so much......I felt regret...coz i nvr told her i love her....
The only thing she left me is the pic that we took together in the cinema...haha.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The little gaL wH0 selling Bread(卖面包的小女孩)

This make me thought of a story of a little girl who selling the matches. en...I kinda a person who love to go out window-shopping but somehow..i also v lazy.~XD
Everytime i went out shopping,to joy,to walk around...before i back to hostel.For sure,i will buy a loaf of bread from the little gal store...i dun lie..the barkely she works, the bread i bought..and taste..is the most awesome,delicious bread ever. Its called " MILK & BUTTER Bread".Its cheap and 12 thick slices for RM2.50 Only oH....I'm Lovin It.~^^
that little gal..is kind of charming,cute,delightful,thin and sort of pretty.well,she dun seems to b so attractive..but i juz like to look at her..i feel tat hardship brings succeed.Life never comes easy.Everyone have to face all kinds of ostables and hardship. there many gaps to break into and to overcome.I wonder...if at the 1st, i choose to work 1st...wad will i b now.Sometimes,if a person do himself/herself just that in a dull.well,life shall b no challeges.i wonder if that is an another kind of happiness.
SOmetimes,I do prefer Blog to express my feeling.But...i do usually prefer staying alone.Every Page of blog show how heavy my feeling is..if u understand me ..^^...

ENd OF Blog

Monday, August 3, 2009

My heart Feeling

I feel really tired after 1 year++. Thousands of trials, challenges. I cant hit myself, control to prevent on it. Just too many personal affairs, incidents happened, i scared perhaps 1 day i might not catch a single breath to hold it on. I tried myself to act happy, rejoice, but its really hard. Sometimes i feel that no one aside to support me myself. I hate myself. Lonely inside. Perhaps, SOme days..i will find a way to end myself just like that.